._:the caverns of day:_.

i have looked the fool for love --

those darndest thing it makes you say

those foolish actions

it yeilds your body to do

with out even the slightest hint of dought...

and love is what we all ache for,

we fools just hate to submit to the lesser one,

our jealousy our egos,

hera should know the limitations of humans

is only hwat they assume they are

( we are limitless in our capabilities)

turning your back on pain

will cause nothing but confusion

a dn confusion

will cause nothing but

pain in not knowing,

not knowing what you are affriad to understand

- u - u are the only {?} i seek

the pain grew me

the sorrow tought me

the lost love made me appriciate

thank you for all you have done

-----JH-----

More Pain and More Confucion

i am depressed

i think its the culmination of everything--- my career my life my home my lack there of having a home of my own -- the lack of "real" reasposibility i dont know maybe it was an excuse i gave myself to justify my horniness.. and now that im "alone" i dont want anyone but my ex--- huh ironic this life is... i do want to get back with her -- or maybe i dont and think i do b/c of the way i am feeling lately- --- no more great adventure theme park with her no more beaches with her no more movies with her no more dinners with her no more kissing her lips her perfect lips.. i am just feeling down very down and thinking of what you said about not making or knocking on the right doors/opportunities -- is my justification of pussy the only thing that is leading me to make a decission like this one... i dont know why -- i feeel like i dont want to leave her but my gut is telling me to go-- or am i assuming the gut feeling ---to justify -- i want to fuck -- my girl i thought i wanted another -- but i think of the arguments we had the fights... and now i dont nkow if its whati want.. i think of the good times and i get down and depressed and i feel alone and lonely but then wheni think of the bad i think of the presure thats not on me b/c we arent together... dam the confusion....


wouldnt it be nice if love came with a rule book or a how to guide or a be carefull manual --- it would make things easier...

The Settlement of emotions

they do subside--- but as those emotions and feelings
start to go down others start to creep up -- up from the
bottom of already tired soul... it needs to feed it needs
to prowl and find its next victim, shhh the sweetest of
the preciouse of all the juices... hmmmmm he can already
feel it, the touch of the her new skin the new glaze in
her eyes the the smell of her breath on my neck , her
finger tips caressing my chest my finger tips caressing
hers...feel her new tongue around my cock, huh its
comming back to me now -- but does it b/c of the lack
of the old emotion lol or is it the lack of something else...
the urge is growing and the urge cant be stopped... it
will only keep on and on until it gets what it needs... it
has now fear it has no care it just wants... and if yo
have what it wants --- i pitty you for you are the one
who is going to enjoy the pain provided by him... his
urge in your deepest thought...lol now you want it and
him , but why him........he gave you the urge, the want
the feeling the sense of full lose of reality and the only
thing you know is that you want...
you want it --- the urge --- him --- me

Pain

why does it hurt so much if it feels like the right thing to do..... dam -- and it really hurts....iget bursts of emotion that pours thru my eye...the liquid runs down my faded beard...she loved that though, the roughy....we had made up before and i think it was ok? im not too sure if we should have gotten back...together again is what we wanted...to fill that ????was still lingering....but i will always love you now tomorrow and the day after and for eternity...u will always be my first...no matter how everything turned out u will always be my first...i love you...

My life

well well well

the time has come for me to work.... i finally got m,y own computer.. my head is still lost w/ relationships and i am getting hornier and hornier by the second. but i got my computer...its as good as getting a new car

The Break Up

Fuckin Unfortunate Find Of Just Dumb Luck

i ma talking about hooking up with other people
and it makes perfect sense but i dont see a reason why i should or even break up.. i love her with everything i dont want to see her hurt or do something foolish if i break up w/ her and i dont want her finding out i cheated on her (if i did)which i didnt .. yet ... maybe???

maybe it is something that isnt fullfilling me.. to be honest she doeant do it for me there..not down there..up there, and she has been making a large effort to inprove..i dont know if i have caused this type of character change inher, but thats the last thing i awnted to do .. iwant her to stay who she is,, changing for me is tooo slefish of me to ask..

i mean all my life ever since i was interested in the female species i have always managed to get myself involved with older females which made me kind of mature quicker than what wouldhave been normal, but i dont blame them or myself, i just think what is missing is some maturity....maybe i need to mature.. maybe im the child.

this is what she found, this is what caused the rbeak up.. i know she didnt mean to look

thru my shit but like she said maybe it was ment ot be found.... i dont know if breaking

up was the ebst thing to do but i felt that i had to..for me or for her but maybe all that

i am doing is justyfing the way i feel :

confused.

tired.

relentless,

to find the reason

but i dont know what im looknig for..

was it the right thing to do?

i dont know.

is the hurt bottomless?

but it still feels like a dream;

sureal like 911 when your standing

so close but yet far enough to see the

emencity of the whole

i feel bad -

like i made a mistake; was it?!?!

ha life is the funniest thing

the irony is thick and rich in its vealed happyness

the lonelinesss that it will bring; hope will end.

{ maybe im in a dream waiting impatiently to awke }

AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOWS OF DEATH I FEAR NO ONE

The Dream

El Seuno

Hello fellow bloggers...
have any of you ever had that dream where { and this is specified to the men well actually some women may have had these types of dreams too } your girlfriend sister preforms felacio on you...and it was good too.. when i woke up i started to have thoughts about her sister..her little sister mind you (she is of leagl age) perverts...dam my neadratholic subconscience.


The Pervert
is that wrong???? i dont think so but sometimes i think of how wrong it would be... i feel guilty very easily and somtimes i think i shouldnt but for some reason i do... i cant help it...be nice that is... but i did have the dream and i liked it and shit i know it probably wont happen but hey i can still be a perv in private... when i first saw her, the sister, i thought awwwwwwww how cute but then i saw her grow and get this sexuallity that i dont even think she knows she has... but sometimes i feel like telling her dont lick those lips just put them around my cock... if my guilt does surpress itself eventually she will find herself in the business end of my dick...

The Scenerio
---Man has a girl and he has been w/ that one female for more than 3 yrs (sexually that is) never has this man cheated or even gone as far as kissed another female...now the male starts having thses urges... is it b/c he needs to spread his seed on a subconscience level and wants to do another and another, but the man feels guilt... now why does he feel like this... he doesnt know he has been trying to figure it out himself for a long time... lol...if my guilt does surpress itself eventually she will find herself in the business end of my dick...

The Conclusion
nothing.... the man will not have the ability to do something that would give him guilt...nor make her feel not wanted b/c he does want her but he also wants her and her and her...unless she does something to make his guilt not be so guilty...and if she isnt carefull and if my guilt does surpress itself eventually her sister will find herself in the business end of my dick...




please pray for me.